Makin' My Way Downtown

Routine-me-not.

I am a walking contradiction, yes, I have to admit to that.

I plan things and I prefer my life to have a rigid routine; however, I get bored easily. If you may notice, whenever I talk to people, my interest doesn’t last that long, say, for the first 10 minutes, I may be reacting to someone’s jokes but after that, I may only give smirks or qualified “uh-huhs”. Really, it’s not that the person is boring, but the interaction has to be stimulating for my reaction nerves to respond. I don’t know how and to what extent I should be explaining this weird habit of mine, but honestly, it is not the fault of the other party I am talking to—it’s just that, I do really get bored easily.

I love challenges, but I hate constant change. How is that possible? Whenever there is something new, I have to have a “warming up” period. Give me a project to finish, and you would find me sloppy at first, constantly forgetting things to-do. Nevertheless, give me a few more days to adjust, and I normally excel in it. Seems pretty normal? Not a bit, since my starting output is pretty much the opposite of what I can produce after I have “warmed up”.

Since my FL yesterday, I was in shock not because I don’t have a job anymore, but because I had no idea what to do the whole day. I don’t have a routine anymore, and that made me shit my pants. All of my friends already have jobs (or are still studying, whichever), so I couldn’t just text people and ask them if we could hang out. My body had a hard time adjusting to my new routine, that is, to think all day on what I could do to kill time.

I feel stumped. I never experienced a no-routine life, and now I find myself searching for things to do. I’ve always had a reason to get up early (i.e. school, work or household chores), and since I grew up with someone who values time like it’s more precious than platinum (mom), I got used to living in a fast-paced and well-synchronized environment. Mom and I could be a team in figure skating, I tell thee.

But now, I find no purpose in waking up at 5am. I have officially become a bum, and I find the feeling weird. This is not me. This is not what I am used to doing. This is not how I was honed.

In fact, I find being a bum a tiring activity. Really.

So, I turned to my old hobby: Reading. I was pretty elated after I’ve read two chapters, especially since I haven’t had the chance to touch that book I’ve been reading since October. Last September, there was a book sale in Puregold, and I bought 10 books for P500. Not bad. The funny thing is, normally, the ones you see on sale are the good ones, not the expensive mainstream type (i.e. Harry Potter series, Dan Brown and Tolkien collection etc.). I was even appalled when I learned that the book The Prince, now costs less than P300—and that was the hardbound version.

I am currently finishing Admissions Confidential. I find the author very funny. The book was taken from the perspective of an admissions personnel from Duke University, narrating funny accounts and giving tips on how to get inside Ivy League Universities.

Anywho, I’ve already applied to seven different companies plus one international organization. Three Researcher positions, one Editor, one Associate Economics Researcher, one Content Analyst for journals, one Competitive Intelligence Analyst and a Researcher position in the United Nations (RoK). As of this moment, I am in the most dreaded step of the job application process—the time wherein I have to keep my phone open in case employers will call, and answer the hiring manager in my most modulated voice no matter what I am doing.

Anyway, I’m tired of typing. Que sera sera. Whatever will be, will be. Whatever happens in a week’s time, that I have to find out.

PS: Tomorrow, I plan to wake up early so I could join the gang and jog. Now that’s a good start for a morning routine. Haha. =)